Hey @Tyler_H ,
A screenshot of the whole scenario would help to better understand the flow of things. But I will try to help with what I have.
The Problem is, that 8.array does not contain the actual strings like “No Update”, but rather multiple objects in the form of “No Update : 1”.
Easiest way to do it, would be to remove the iterator, and just set one Variable, for instance called “RandomStrings” with the value
{{add(emptyarray; " No Update"; " Nothing to report"; " No Updates"; " Still Working")}}
This will create a normal array of those strings.
And afterwards, you can use your shuffle mechanism to get the random item:
{{first(shuffle(3.RandomStrings))}}
If you NEED the Mapping of a certain ID to the Text like “No Update” has to be mapped to “1”, there’s another solution. Just let me know if you need it and I can provide more info.
Do not hesitate to contact me if need further Info. 
Christoph Gerl
Funkenwerfer Process & CRM-Automation